I once overheard a Navy pilot buddy of mine trying to explain to a civilian who rarely even flew what it felt like to take a “cat shot” off of the front end of an aircraft carrier.  I could tell that he was frustrated.  When he finished he walked over to me and said:

“It’s like trying to explain sex to a virgin!“

And….that is one of our challenges when we talk to our children about sexuality, especially when we talk about how you can get all hot and bothered when you make out and can really “go stupid” (as I told my kids).

Sex is pretty esoteric for those who haven’t experienced a lot of making out and intimacy.  Still, we (as parents) have to instill in them a healthy respect for the dangers and equip them to avoid mistakes.

So, how DO you explain the intensifying hazards of sexual passion to a virgin?

BASEBALL and BEER!!!

One of the best ways to teach about “unknown” or “un-experienced” subjects is by analogy, the comparison of the unknown with something that is well known and understood.  And, there are two things kids are familiar with, both male and female:

BASEBALL and BEER!

Now, I fully understand that we can advocate kids playing baseball.  And I want to assure you that I am not advocating that kids use beer!  But, like it or not, youth are familiar with both and they will understand this analogy!  So, let’s use this to our advantage!

SEX AND BASEBALL

In my TECH-SAFE YOUTH Seminar I lay down a baseline for describing how far you can go when you’re dating by using the old “baseball diamond” metaphor from my youth:

First Base: Kissing and hugging
.
Second Base: Fondling/touching above the waist
.
Third Base: Fondling/touching below the waist
.
Home Run: Sex of any kind – ANY kind

They pretty much get the analogy and understand when I say that they are limited to FIRST BASE ONLY!

Kids also understand the progression of “rounding the bases”.

Now, let’s apply their understanding of BEER AND ALCOHOL!

Kids pretty much know about the effects and dangers of alcohol (even if they think that THEY are immune).  So, let’s combine these two metaphors..

• FIRST BASE is when you are making out: kissing and hugging.  This makes the blood begin to get hot.  It can affect your thinking and increase your desire for “more”.  Just like TWO BEERS don’t make you completely stupid/drunk but can lower your guard and your inhibitions, making out can have the same effect. So, you have to be careful because…
  .
• SECOND BASE activity heats things up more, like having TWO MORE BEERS!!! Now you are getting drunk, losing control, and you are starting to get stupid! That is a real danger when you are drinking, or when you are making out!  Stay on second base and you will keep losing control and then you may not be able to avoid . . .
  .
• THIRD BASE because that goes to the next level.  The added passion and “heat” from messing around on THIRD BASE is like drinking a total of four beers and then adding TWO SHOTS! The effect is far more powerful and happens far more quickly.  Your judgment is GONE, and you are definitely in THE STUPIDITY ZONE! From here it is hardly any trouble stealing …
  .
• HOME PLATE, where you are having sex.

So, we need to share with our kids that this is how passion works.  They don’t understand all about passion (we hope) but they DO have cultural knowledge of beer and shots!  They’ve at least seen it on TV, and that allows them to have an understanding of how treacherous a slope they are on when they are “on FIRST BASE“.  They can even get the point that just because something feels good (like the buzz from 1-4 beers) it doesn’t mean that it is good for you!

NOTE:  Mom and Dad, explain to your daughters that this is why guys try to get girls drunk!

Once they understand these concepts, then they need to think about how to limit their activities to FIRST BASE.  That may include:

• Not being where they can “Steal Second”. (i.e. They don’t have TOO much privacy.)
• Keeping a limit to “FIRST BASE” in terms of time.  You could add the “kettle boiling over as you increase heat” metaphor if you want.
• Staying in a “crowded ballpark”, so there is little opportunity to round the bases.

So, when you are driving down the road with your pre-teen/teen having “that” conversation, or before they go on a date, remember two American favorites:

BASEBALL & BEER!

Now, some may argue that kids shouldn’t even get to FIRST BASE before marriage, but that’s another post!.

Check out these other popular posts:

• Sex, SPOUSES, and the Internet – Part 1: SEXTING (First of a 5-Part series)
• Marriage: God’s Safe Zone
• OpenDNS Filtering: A Review For Home and Church
• Youth Minister: “I wish my wife was this dirty!” FAIL! (1 of 3) (First of a 3-Part series)
• iTunes – What Parents Need To Know… Part I – What All Is Available

Help us continue to help you!
Just $1/day ($30/month) WILL make a huge impact for tens of thousands of families…worldwide!!!!	Book a TECH-SAFE HOME™ seminar for parents by contacting us at: info@knightsquest.org or 817.715.4074	This fall, Knights’ Quest is launching the all-new TECH-SAFE YOUTH program! Contact us to schedule a back-to-school event!!	Got a question?Send it in via e-mail!

Subscribe to Blogging The Knights’ Quest via:
 .

Need articles for your Church Newsletter? Contact us for permission to reprint our articles!
It’s FREE for Churches and non-profits!

NOTICE:  All communications with Knights’ Quest are held in strictest confidence, within the limits of the Law.