NOTE:
This post deals frankly but respectfully with issues & physiological/medical information
regarding sexuality & God’s design for humanity. If this makes you uncomfortable,
please consider that we are discussing GOD’S DESIGN.
Part 2 of a multi-part series: “SEX: What was God THINKING???!!!“
Before reading this blog you might want to read my other post about viewing GOD AS DESIGNER.
As I grew up there were many “messages” that the Deep South Culture transmitted. Mostly they implied that sex was “dirty” and “unspeakable”. (This was in the 1960s and 1970s.)
Today, in 21st Century America, the messages seem to be quite different. Sex is definitely not “unspeakable” and while “dirty” is not used a lot there seems to be a “dark side” where sex is supposed to abide. Everyone is supposed to be a great lover and have mind-blowing, athletic sex. Everyone is supposed to “go for the gusto!”
Well, we’re batting .500, I guess.
God talks about sex in the Bible. It is not “unspeakable”, but should be spoken of in wisdom. God did not mean for sex to be “dirty”. He did not mean for us to constantly be in pursuit of the ultimate sexual experience. He did not mean for us to use one another for our own benefits.
In Genesis 1-3 we can get more insights as to what God intended when He created us “male and female”.
Take a moment and read these three chapters. If you don’t have a Bible handy, use this link.
Genesis 1-2 describe humanity’s creation and life before The Fall, the entry of sin into the world.
First
off, we can see that God intentionally designed humanity to have males and females in it. It was His intent that the Crown of Creation be a 2-gendered people. Both Adam and Eve were intentional designs by God the Engineer. The fact that men and women have different anatomies, emotions, attitudes, and such was no accident, nor was this Design an afterthought.
What we can take from this is simple: It is not a sin to be a man, or a woman. It is not a sin to have the desires that men and women have for intimacy, for that is what God designed us to have.
It is in this period that Adam and Eve are told to “Be fruitful and multiply…”. Inherent in Gods’s command is His understanding that for multiplication to occur the First Couple would have to have sex…numerous times.
Have you ever pondered how different that sexual relationship was from the sexual relationships people have today? Have you ever considered what a sexual relationship with a spouse would be like if there was no sin nature involved?
Think about it.
Adam and Eve would have had sex without:
- Greed
- Selfishness
- Manipulation
- Fear
- Desire for power
- Aggression
- Domination
- Self-Centeredness
- Distrust
- Contempt
- Rage
- Jealousy
- Envy
- Shame
- Pain
- Illness
- Infirmity
- and more…
It is quite possible that, if there was significant time between their creation and The Fall, that Adam and Eve had the best sex the world has ever known.
What would that have been characterized by?
- Love
- Pure Desire
- Compassion
- Patience
- Consideration
- Acceptance
- Concern for the Other
- Joy
- Discovery
- Pleasure
- Good Health
When we consider all of this and include our understanding of God’s physiological design (see previous post here if you haven’t yet read it) we can honestly expect that God intended for Man and Woman to be blessed physically, emotionally, and spiritually through physical intimacy.
It was part of God’s design.
Adam and Eve, quite simply put, were perfect lovers and were in perfect harmony with God’s Design.
Unfortunately, we do not live in such a perfect state. We live in the Fallen World, just as Adam and Eve did after the events of Chapter 3. We should note, though, that nothing in God’s curses contained in Chapter 3 makes sex a sin. While Eve’s pain in childbirth would be increased, God did not alter His design for husbands and wives. The problem now was that they would be sinful husbands and wives, and that would keep them at war with sin…and each other.
In our own lives we must deal with a sin nature that only Christ can destroy through the Cross. That sin nature often corrupts our view of sex and our relationships.
This is evident in how early Church writers and leaders viewed sex and sexuality. Such attitudes distorted Man’s understanding of God’s Design and have created much guilt and heartache. They led to sin and sinful misunderstandings of God’s Design.
How, then, should Christians approach the issue of sex and sexuality in a Fallen World?
One way is to seek Adam and Eve’s “world’s best sex”. That won’t be found in COSOMOPOLITAN or REDBOOK or PLAYBOY or on the Internet. It won’t be found in “performance-based sex”. It can only be found when men and women, as loving & loyal husbands and wives, seek to understand God’s design for marriage and treat each other with Godly attitudes, holy desires, and unselfish love.
The first step must be: PRAYER.
Each person individually, and each couple together, must pray for God to transform them from what has been created through life in this sinfully sexualized world and into what God intends for them to be. We have all been contaminated by sin and, I daresay, bad theology.
This means casting off the sinful thoughts, desires, and wants that are listed above (and more that are not) and seeking to love our spouse in a pure, holy manner. It mean casting off any attitudes and beliefs that are not supported by God’s revelations.
- What, then, do you need to cast off?
- What, then, do you need to bring into your heart and your relationship?
- What, then, is keeping you from enjoying all that God has designed you for?
The only way to seek the answer to these questions is to do so through our relationship with Christ and through God’s word.
- Surrender YOUR wants and desires and seek God’s Design.
- Pray for wisdom and to see what sexual sins and sinful attitudes and desires you need to bring before God to confess and ask him to remove.
- Ask God to show you how to love as He designed us to love each other: Purely, compassionately, and unselfishly.
We can never reach perfection in this life, but that doesn’t mean we should not strive to conform to His Will, and His Design. That’s what the Christian life is all about, and that includes our love lives.
God designed and engineered humanity to be sexual creatures from the beginning. He set boundaries of love and relationship on our sexual expression, with the limitation of marriage. There is no shame or sin in being a sexual creature, only in living outside of God’s Design.
As in all aspects of life.
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