NOTE:
This post deals frankly but respectfully with issues regarding sexuality
& God’s design for humanity. If this makes you uncomfortable,
please consider that we are discussing GOD’S DESIGN.
Part 3 of a 5-Part series: “SEX: What was God THINKING???!!!“
Before reading this blog you might want to read my other post about viewing GOD AS DESIGNER.
So far in 0ur examination of what God was thinking when He designed Humanity to be a bi-gendered we’ve looked at elements of His overall design, how they fit together as a system, and how that system worked before sin.
The problem is, we all live in a world that contains sin, and we exist as creatures with a sin nature. In the area of sex/sexuality, it is a very STRONG sin nature!
So, how are we, as Fallen Creatures, supposed to express ourselves sexually? How are we supposed to meet our God-designed sexual needs? To answer this I want us to look at the Book of Proverbs, specifically Chapter 5, verses 18-19. You can find this passage in the New American Standard Bible (Updated) HERE:
Prior to these verses the writer is discussing the foolishness of having sex with “the adulteress”. He describes the dangers and then asks why you would want to be dumb enough to have sex with someone who is not your wife? He states that you should not “spill the waters of your springs in the streets” by being promiscuous. (This is a typical cultural metaphor for sexuality and sex.
Then the writer says: “Rejoice in the wife of your youth”. Here we can see what God is intending in marriage, and it is here by intent, on God’s part. He knows that, left to ourselves, we will just mess things up. So, we have this passage to “rejoice in the wife of your youth!”
On the surface, this seems like a typical, sexist statement. The MAN is supposed to rejoice in the wife of his youth. In the 21st Century it may well be asked: “What about the WIFE????”
Well, this is where language study helps. English is not as specific, but in studying the Hebrew (and the Greek in the Septuigint) we see that the husband is being told to enjoy sexual pleasure WITH his wife. They are both to enjoy each other, not just the husband enjoy the woman as a sexual servant.
This follows God’s design from before the Fall. Eve was created as a helper, a companion. She was neither slave nor second-class citizen, but taken from Adam’s side as one who is equal in importance, although they have differing roles. (That is an entirely different blog series!)
So, God commands husbands and wives to enjoy each other.
He also commands us to enjoy the “wife of our youth”. This implies three things:
- The permanency of marriage. Husbands and wives are to enjoy sex with our original spouses,
- The term “wife” is singular, so this precludes multiple wives, and
- We are to enjoy sexual pleasure throughout our lives. The text is easily is understood to be addressed to a husband who is no longer a youth!
In understanding the next verse we need to remember that this was written in an agrarian culture. Comparing a woman to a graceful animal was a compliment. The sensuality of this verse is even stronger with that taken into account. This shows that God is encouraging us to enjoy the sensuality of our spouses, as well. Sex is not just for procreation and for short, quick, “dutiful” encounters. We are to admire and enjoy each other.
Lastly, in the last line of V.19 we see that we are to be “exhilarated” by her love. This is an interesting and important term. The original Hebrew word carries with it the following connotations and meanings:
- Be completely filled to overflowing with…
- Be staggering drunk with love and desire…
- Be completely overcome by…
In other words, God wants husbands and wives to be overcome by there love and (sexual) desire for each other. Each should drink deeply of the sensuality and pleasure that a man and women can enjoy together.
Couples should mutually give and receive sexual pleasure, and should do so in a delighted and passionate manner so that they both are always fully satisfied.
That was what God was thinking, according to Proverbs 5!
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