SEX: What Was God THINKING???!!!
Part IV – A SONG OF…EQUALITY

NOTE:
This post deals frankly but respectfully with issues regarding sexuality
& God’s design for humanity.  If this makes you uncomfortable,
please consider that we are discussing GOD’S DESIGN.

Part 4 of a multi-part series: “SEX: What was God THINKING???!!!“

Before reading this blog you might want to read my other post about viewing GOD AS DESIGNER.

There have been hundreds of books that take apart the SONG OF SOLOMON, also called the CANTICLES, and try to reassemble it so we can understand it.  I’m not  doing that, today.  Instead, I want us to take a summary look at God’s book on married love and pick up a few pointers from it.

I recommend that you read the SONG and have it available.  If you don’t have your Bible handy, you can find the SONG online HERE.

Before we start let us dismiss the old interpretations that the husband and wife in the  SONG were allegories for God and Israel, later an allegory for Jesus and the Church.  We can look at many reasons to dispute this but the most powerful argument against the SONG being allegory is this:

Throughout the story the husband and wife are chasing each other.  But, the wife not only appears to chase her husband more passionately than he chases her, but she also chases him MORE than he chases her.

Now, when in History has Israel chased God with more passion and more determination than God has chased Israel? The same question is valid for Jesus and the Church.

So, what is the SONG all about?  SEX.  Within the Safe Zone of marriage.

WHAT?  God wrote a book on SEX?

Sure.  Why not??? God INVENTED sex and made it a major function within his design for humanity. So, SHOULDN’T God give us instruction and guidance on the subject?  Absolutely!  He talked about finances, conflict resolution, child-rearing, and a host of other aspects of human existence.  So, God talks about sex.

Now, like I said, I’m not going to dissect the SONG into hundreds of minute points.  Instead, I want us to look at just THREE insights we can gain from the SONG that God wants you and me to absorb.

FIRST off, sex in marriage in the SONG is shown as being very sensual.  This is a wholesome sensuality, appreciating their spouse’s physical body as well as the environment of their love-making.  The husband praises the beauty of his wife’s face and neck (1:8-11).  The wife praises her husband’s looks and then talks of the lush setting for their encounter (1:16-17) .  She speaks of the effect he has on her (2:5).   There are many more.  Throughout the book there are references made to hearing, seeing, touching, tasting, and smell.  This is complete integration of God’s creation, of humans and their environment.

SECOND, the entire book goes back and forth between the lovers.  They are shown to have equal enjoyment and equal desire.  Both proclaim both their love and their sexual desire for each other.   This is an important lesson as human culture has, historically, placed women in a lower and subservient.

Too often in human culture women have had to “available” for men, but a woman who enjoyed and sought sex was looked down upon (at least publically).  Some cultures, even today, practice mutilation of women to ensure they are not “overcome” by their own desires.  This is abominable. And, tell me that the women who is eager and desirous of sex is considered virtuous and holy within today’s culture??

The entire SONG shows that God’s intent is for husband and wife equally enjoy the other.  This is reiterated by Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:1-4.  Women should NEVER be made 2nd Class Citizens in the bedroom.  In God’s Design husband and wives are for each other, equally and totally.

LASTLY, God desires that lovers treat each other with respect and consideration, not with demands and begging and manipulation.  In Chapter 5 we see the story of the husband coming to his wife’s room and being rejected (I’m already in bed and don’t want to have to wash my feet, again!).

Now, in any sitcom you might catch on TV the husband would either begin pounding on the door, demanding his “rights”, or he would begin begging and promising gifts.  Wives are often shown using sex to manipulate and coerce.  All of this is SIN!  This goes against God’s design.

Instead, in SONG 5:2-6, we see the portrait of a husband who showed respect and consideration.  After his wife’s “I have a headache” line he tried to unlatch the door  and, finding that she had indeed retired and latched the door, he left.  Some might say he left mad, but that is reading into Scripture what Scripture does not say.  He merely left.  That is love and respect.

SUMMARY: When God designed humanity to live as Man and Wife it was His intention that we be equals, that we be loving, and that we wholeheartedly enjoy each other.

How do we apply this?  Well, let me just speak to the men, but you ladies may benefit as well..

Before you do anything you need pray:

1. For forgiveness of past sexual sins and attitudes.  This includes sins of thought, word, or deed.
2. For wisdom in approaching the transformation of your attitudes and views from what they are, and
3. For God to show you how to be the husband you need to be, and that He designed you to be!
4. For God to show you how to lead your spouse in prayer for your marriage to be what God designed it to be.

There are concepts that we can take away from this related to marital intimacy:

1. SERVANTHOOD:  We need to abandon any concern about our “rights” and instead focus on our responsibilities to our mates. (Re-read 1 COR 7:1-5).
2. SETTTING: Guys, we need to set the stage.  This book has a LOT of sensuality in it.  Are you creating an environment that your wife desires that would enable her to fully express her love for her?  I’m not just talking about candles and flowers but are you creating an environment of respect and partnership with her?
3. EQUALITY: This is a God Concept!  Forget what Society has told you. Forget the attitudes you’ve gotten from the locker room, the military, the boardroom, the media, and especially from pornography.  Instead, consider your wife’s needs and desires to be of equal importance as your own.  And here’s a difficult one: Consider her DISLIKES to be of equal importance as your own dislikes.  And, TALK ABOUT IT WITH HER!
4. LEADERSHIP: I know.  A lot of you want to take that verse in 1 Cor 7:1-4, couple it with “wives submit to your husbands”, and go off on a tangent that, I promise you, God does NOT want you to set out on.  Instead, be the spiritual leader she longs for, and set the example, both in and out of the bedroom.  Show some leadership.

I’m in this battle with you, guys.  Sometimes I get it right.  Sometime I’m in bad need of “recalibrating”, as a friend says.  You’d be amazed how much God speaks to writers and bloggers through our own writing!

So, let’s hit this battlefield together and take back the ground the Church has given up over the past 1,700 years! Pray for me as I pray for you!  Encourage one another. Carry the standard high!

Victory is already HIS!
——————————————————-
FOR FURTHER READING:

A SONG FOR LOVERS by Glickman

SOLOMON ON SEX by Dillow

INTIMACY IGNITED by Dillow

THE BOOK OF ROMANCE: WHAT SOLOMON SAYS ABOUTLOVE, SEX, INTIMACY by Nelson

SONG OF SOLOMON: A STUDY OF LOVE, SEX, MARRIAGE, & ROMANCE by Nelson (DVD)
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