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SEXTING!
What’s The Big Deal??? Part II UPDATED

PART II of a 2-part series on SEXTING
PART I discussed legal issues
PART II  discusses moral and developmental issues

Couple Hex 1Let’s face it, when you are dating, even in middle school, you are on a voyage of discovery.  Ideally, you are discovering:

•    What is “out there”.
•    What you like, and dislike, in the opposite sex.
•    How to navigate social interactions with the opposite sex.
•    How to handle, and discipline, yourself.
•    How to judge character and social/family potential.

That is why we go on movie and dinner dates, ask our friends “What do you think?”, and even come up with “tests” to see what the other is really like.

Young people begin holding hands, hugging and kissing, and hopefully not much else.  This is the ideal.  While there are vulnerabilities that are exposed and sometimes injured, the relationship is about friendship and love.

But, when young people, or even adults, begin crossing sexual boundaries it clouds things up.  The relationship transforms from one where friendship, affection, and respect are central to one where lust and selfish desire rule.

Couple on ChairsFor both genders the focus of the relationship becomes sexual.

Sexting helps youth quickly cross sexual boundaries.  Sexting can change the dynamics from love and friendship to lust and manipulation.

A boy may enjoy being able to “persuade” a girl to send inappropriate pictures.  In addition to the sexual thrill of seeing her, he may enjoy the feeling of power he gets in breaking down her barriers.

A girl may send pictures to a boy, knowing that she can get a boy aroused and not thinking straight.  She can attract, control and manipulate him for her pleasure, and her benefit.

And the dynamics are endless.  Sexting drives the relationship from an emotional context to a physical context.

Uneasy Couple 2This causes children and youth to mis-learn important lessons.

•    Instead of wanting a girl for who she is, and what she can bring, a boy learns that girls are primarily for sexual pleasure.  They are objects, not people.
•    Instead of seeing herself in terms of character, intellect, and capability, a girls sees her worth in her sexual skills and attractiveness, instead.
•    Both boys and girls filter out “red flags” because they do not want to upset the “sexting” or “sex” boats.

Finally, sexting drives the relationship closer to physical sex, and it speeds up the process.  Consider the following:

•    A boy, or girl, who is getting turned on by explicit pictures will wants more, not less, and will want to move past pictures.
•    A boy, or girl, who is getting turned on by sexting is programming himself/herself to seek out sexual pleasure instead of learning to restrain desire until the appropriate time (a useful skill in marriage, as well!).
•    Time is spent engaging in “tech-sex”, preventing other dialogue and discussion, and it sets the tone for the relationship when the two are physically together.

SEXTING changes the focus of a relationship.

guy-reading-bible-croppedWhat about the spiritual dimensions?

Well, Jesus made it quite clear in Matthew 5 that mental sin is as bad as physical sin.  Therefore, sexting, especially if it is used as a substitute for physical intimacy, falls into the same category of action: SIN.

Sexual relations of any kind outside the safety of marriage are forbidden by God.  God knew that premature exposure to sex, and the powerful, judgement-fogging desires that it unleashes, would result in a deviation from His Design.

Instead of valuing and respecting each other for who God has made them, people engaged in sexting, and also in pre-marital/extramarital sex, are valuing and desiring others based upon what the other can provide in terms of sexual pleasure, power, satisfaction.

God’s Design, then, is corrupted.

Consider the power of the sex drive.  We’ve seen both great and small brought down by it.

Consider, then, the desires that are unleashed by sexting, by “tech sex”.

Consider, finally, how our enemy, Satan, can then use such sin to prevent a relationship with Christ from developing, or to weaken and negate a Christian’s walk in the World.

SEXTING between unmarried people is sin.  Pure and simple.

Our children need to understand this.

In this post I would like for us to consider the developmental and spiritual impact of such behavior.Let’s face it, when you are dating, even in middle school, you are on a voyage of discovery.  Ideally, you are discovering:•    What is “out there”.

•    What you like, and dislike, in the opposite sex.
•    How to navigate social interactions with the opposite sex.
•    How to handle, and discipline, yourself.
•    How to judge character and social/family potential.That is why we go on movie and dinner dates, ask our friends “What do you think?”, and even come up with “tests” to see what the other is really like.Young people begin holding hands, hugging and kissing, and hopefully not much else.  This is the ideal.  While there are vulnerabilities that are exposed and sometimes injured, the relationship is about friendship and love.But, when young people, or even adults, begin crossing sexual boundaries it clouds things up.  The relationship transforms from one where friendship, affection, and respect are central to one where lust and selfish desire rule.For both genders.

Sexting helps youth cross sexual boundaries.  Sexting can change the dynamics from love and friendship to lust and manipulation.

A boy may enjoy being able to “persuade” a girl to send inappropriate pictures.  In addition to the sexual thrill of seeing her, he may enjoy the feeling of power he gets in breaking down her barriers.

A girl may send pictures to a boy, knowing that she can get a boy aroused and not thinking straight.  She can control and manipulate him for her pleasure, and her benefit.

And the dynamics are endless.  Sexting drives the relationship from an emotional context to a physical context.

This causes children and youth to mis-learn important lessons.

•    In
stead of wanting a girl for who she is, and what she can bring, a boy learns that girls are primarily for sexual pleasure.  They are objects, not people.
•    Instead of seeing herself in terms of character, intellect, and capability, a girls sees her worth in her sexual skills and attractiveness, instead.
•    Both boys and girls filter out “red flags” because they do not want to upset the “sexting” or “sex” boats.

Finally, sexting drives the relationship closer to physical sex, and it speeds up the process.  Consider the following:

•    A boy, or girl, who is getting turned on by explicit pictures will wants more, not less, and will want to move past pictures.
•    A boy, or girl, who is getting turned on by sexting is programming himself/herself to seek out sexual pleasure instead of learning to restrain desire until the appropriate time.
•    Time is spent engaging in “tech-sex”, preventing other dialogue and discussion, and it sets the tone for the relationship when the two are physically together.

SEXTING changes the focus of a relationship.

What about the spiritual dimensions?

Well, Jesus made it quite clear in Matthew 5 that mental sin is as bad as physical sin.  Therefore, sexting, especially if it is used as a substitute for physical intimacy, falls into the same category of action: SIN.

Sexual relations of any kind outside the safety of marriage are forbidden by God.  God knew that premature exposure to sex, and the powerful, judgement fogging desires that it unleashes, would result in a deviation from His Design.

Instead of valuing and respecting each other for who God has made them, people engaged in sexting, and also in pre-marital/extramarital sex, are valuing and desiring others for what they can provide in terms of sexual satisfaction.

God’s Design, then, is corrupted.

Consider the power of the sex drive.  We’ve seen both great and small brought down by it.

Consider, then, the desires that are unleashed by sexting, by “tech sex”.

Consider, finally, how our enemy, Satan, can then use such sin to prevent a relationship with Christ from developing, or to weaken and negate a Christian’s walk in the World.

SEXTING between unmarried people is sin.  Pure and simple.

Our children need to understand this.
In this post I would like for us to consider the developmental and spiritual impact of such behavior.

Let’s face it, when you are dating, even in middle school, you are on a voyage of discovery.  Ideally, you are discovering:

•    What is “out there”.
•    What you like, and dislike, in the opposite sex.
•    How to navigate social interactions with the opposite sex.
•    How to handle, and discipline, yourself.
•    How to judge character and social/family potential.

That is why we go on movie and dinner dates, ask our friends “What do you think?”, and even come up with “tests” to see what the other is really like.

Young people begin holding hands, hugging and kissing, and hopefully not much else.  This is the ideal.  While there are vulnerabilities that are exposed and sometimes injured, the relationship is about friendship and love.

But, when young people, or even adults, begin crossing sexual boundaries it clouds things up.  The relationship transforms from one where friendship, affection, and respect are central to one where lust and selfish desire rule.

For both genders.

Sexting helps youth cross sexual boundaries.  Sexting can change the dynamics from love and friendship to lust and manipulation.

A boy may enjoy being able to “persuade” a girl to send inappropriate pictures.  In addition to the sexual thrill of seeing her, he may enjoy the feeling of power he gets in breaking down her barriers.

A girl may send pictures to a boy, knowing that she can get a boy aroused and not thinking straight.  She can control and manipulate him for her pleasure, and her benefit.

And the dynamics are endless.  Sexting drives the relationship from an emotional context to a physical context.

This causes children and youth to mis-learn important lessons.

•    In
stead of wanting a girl for who she is, and what she can bring, a boy learns that girls are primarily for sexual pleasure.  They are objects, not people.
•    Instead of seeing herself in terms of character, intellect, and capability, a girls sees her worth in her sexual skills and attractiveness, instead.
•    Both boys and girls filter out “red flags” because they do not want to upset the “sexting” or “sex” boats.

Finally, sexting drives the relationship closer to physical sex, and it speeds up the process.  Consider the following:

•    A boy, or girl, who is getting turned on by explicit pictures will wants more, not less, and will want to move past pictures.
•    A boy, or girl, who is getting turned on by sexting is programming himself/herself to seek out sexual pleasure instead of learning to restrain desire until the appropriate time.
•    Time is spent engaging in “tech-sex”, preventing other dialogue and discussion, and it sets the tone for the relationship when the two are physically together.

SEXTING changes the focus of a relationship.

What about the spiritual dimensions?

Well, Jesus made it quite clear in Matthew 5 that mental sin is as bad as physical sin.  Therefore, sexting, especially if it is used as a substitute for physical intimacy, falls into the same category of action: SIN.

Sexual relations of any kind outside the safety of marriage are forbidden by God.  God knew that premature exposure to sex, and the powerful, judgement fogging desires that it unleashes, would result in a deviation from His Design.

Instead of valuing and respecting each other for who God has made them, people engaged in sexting, and also in pre-marital/extramarital sex, are valuing and desiring others for what they can provide in terms of sexual satisfaction.

God’s Design, then, is corrupted.

Consider the power of the sex drive.  We’ve seen both great and small brought down by it.

Consider, then, the desires that are unleashed by sexting, by “tech sex”.

Consider, finally, how our enemy, Satan, can then use such sin to prevent a relationship with Christ from developing, or to weaken and negate a Christian’s walk in the World.

SEXTING between unmarried people is sin.  Pure and simple.

Our children need to understand this.

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